For the longest time, I thought I understood what it took to make women laugh. I thought I knew ways to be funny to girls, that I knew all the jokes they desired. I thought all women wanted was the same kinds of jokes that men did. You understand, the sarcastic wit and ironic punch lines that all guys like. Comedy is expected to be universal after all, right?
All I looked around at the men that were getting girls, I was discovering that the men, most of the times, didn’t should have a terrific sense of humor. Or even be funny at all. The key was something else entirely.
What do women find funny?
I looked for at to answer this question time earlier by reading a few books. One of these books recommended that women want a guy who is cocky-funny, using a barrage of sarcasm to nearly bully women into liking you. It made sense to me at the time, so I tried it out. Big mistake.
I ended up getting a couple of women to like me using this approach. Considering that it seemed to be working, I attempted to use this on every woman I saw. Huge mistake.
What I found out was that the women I was using this method on were the more “tomboy” side of the group, the girls who are generally more masculine. While that’s all well and good, what occurred to me was that, by just attracting this little minority of women, I was leaving a big portion of women still on the table. Off the bat, by using this technique, most women disliked me. I needed to alter things up.
When I started to focus on enjoying my friend Will, that’s. Will is not who I ‘d call the wittiest or funniest guy around, but he constantly appeared to have a great rapport with women. Girls were always around him, possibly not rolling on the ground in stitches, but always with a spirited smile on their face. What was his secret?
Watching him, I realized that he had what I ‘d like to call a “play area” or “fourth grade” sensibility when it pertained to humor. He would tell knock-knock jokes, or playfully tickle the girls. Instead of being the best comic of perpetuity, he was just out there having a good time with the girls, which’s what they were reacting to. Which’s when it hit me:.
Girls don’t want funny, they want fun.
A simple process for making girls laugh
Look around for a moment and realize what girls are laughing at. They’re not heading out to the most recent dark indie movie or listening to the new Louis CK album. (If they are, great for them, however this is a rare thing.) They’re going out to the most recent romantic comedy and having a good time. There’s a reason romantic comedies are tailored to a female audience. That’s what they respond to!
In the same way, do not let your humor be clever or too sophisticated. It’ll simply look like you’re attempting too hard and girls do not react to men who are out there trying to act “cool”. They respond to guys who are simply being themselves. Especially if they themselves are enjoyable.
Consider it: If you tell a hard-to-follow joke to a girl, she will sit there for a moment confused, attempting to figure out your joke. That moment of her figuring-it-out, even if it’s an excellent joke, is a minute that takes her from the moment. She just wants to reply to the enjoyable that you’re exuding, not worry about whether she’s getting the joke. Again fun, not funny.
Playground humor never ever gets old. Just imagine you’re two fourth-graders out on the playground at recess. Back then it was practically simple jokes and having a fun time. This is the kind of atmosphere you want to provide for the girl.
The “mouse race”
One of my favored approaches to produce this play ground sensibility is a little bar game called the “mouse race”. Just take a pen and put it on a girl’s arm. Discuss to her that you are going to show her a race between three mice. Say “and below goes the blind mouse, so tell him when you want him to stop.” Right away, begin drawing up her arm. Obviously, she’ll tell the mouse to stop right away– she doesn’t want an arm full of ink, after all– so stop. Follow this up by having the “dumb mouse” race. Using the same process, have her tell you when he should stop. Begin drawing and, once again, she’ll right away tell you to stop. Lastly, it’s time to race the “deaf mouse”. Begin drawing up her arm and, once again, she’ll tell you to stop. This time, do not. Instead continue drawing up her arm.
If she gets the joke, she should begin making fun of this silly, stupid little joke. The point isn’t really that it’s funny, but that it’s fun. And if she doesn’t understand the joke, let her know. “Deaf mice can not hear you tell them to stop!” She’ll start laughing at both the stupidity of the joke which she had not been able to put that together on her own. And afterwards, you’re off.
Always remember, forget about funny. Just be fun!
In Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy we do a whole lesson on the topic of making women laugh. We also cover just about everything you potentially have to find out about creating more fun, flirtatious, and “sexy” conversations with women.